Wednesday, October 28, 2009

At the risk of sounding like a girl...

C'est Jeudi which means that the week is almost over (yay) and it's time to ogle at boys (double yay)!

The vote from last week was technically tied but I happened to send Melissa an email after she voted because I thought that she would love Taylor Pyatt. I was right and she was sad that she didn't vote for him. Her adoration of his beautiful eyes serves as a sufficient tie-breaker so, without further ado, your HBOTW is Taylor Pyatt!


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For my non-hockey ladies, here's some info: He plays for the Phoenix Coyotes right now and that sucks because, it's the Phoenix Coyotes. He's 28 years old but I think he still looks like a hot 15 year old. Is that wrong? There's just something about him that makes me think mysterious high school kid.

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I'm mesmerized by his crooked smile and his hint of chest hair. Look closely. Yum.

He just looks like a nice, normal guy, doesn't he? And there's a serious lack of nice, normal guys, at least around here.

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What's he doing with his mouth here? It doesn't matter because he still looks good. I think he should always try to play for teams that have blue jerseys because it's ridiculously flattering on him. Even if he played for San Jose, I think he'd still look good and that's a hard look to pull off. (Come on, a hockey team's colors should not include deep pacific teal.)

So for next week, I'm thinking we should have an Old Man Week. Every day next week, I'll feature some relics of the NHL, some of which may be retired, all of which will be old enough to be my dad but I'd still totally marry them. PLUS, next weekend is my epic roadtrip to the east, including my first time in Toronto, my visit to the Hockey Hall of Fame and the Maple Leafs/Red Wings game.

So here's your vote for this week...
Which jersey do I wear to the Leafs/Wings game? Who do I cheer for?
I'm already so conflicted over this. Here's the real dilemma... I have 2 current Red Wings jerseys but my Datsyuk jersey is the one with all the autographs on it. I tend to only wear that one for special events (like Stanley Cup clinching games) and only at Joe Louis Arena because the last thing I need is a beer thrown at me and fucking up my autographed jersey, yes? So that leaves my Red Wings jersey choice down to my road Osgood jersey. I love Ozzie but right now? I'm pissed at him. He's playing all crazy-like and I don't appreciate it. He's making Jimmy Howard look like a viable option and I just cannot accept that. The other choice is my new blank home Leafs jersey. It's just a tough decision. Advice?

Also, if you've been to Toronto before, give advice. Where to go? What do I need to see? Good places to eat? Where do I go to get drunk after the game? (Heh, who am I kidding? You know I mean before the game!)

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Okay, I'm a snob. That's fine.

I love minor league hockey. There, I said it.

I think it’s a completely different kind of fun than going to an NHL game and I absolutely love it. I think that there’s just a lot of genuine excitement. People are happy to be there. Most of these minor league teams aren’t posting sellouts every night so it’s not like being at the game is some cool and trendy thing to do. It’s not as common to find the “suits” that are only there to impress some potential customer. And even if you do find some suits there, they’re mixed into the crowd because minor league hockey games are not exclusive like some NHL lower bowl seats are.

At the same time, this lack of exclusivity brings with it many of my pet peeves. I’m a hockey snob. I will readily admit that right now. I like watching good, quality games with good, quality people that I can discuss it with. I will not date a guy that knows less about hockey than me. (My new standard is that I will not date a guy that likes a team that I loathe unless he can articulate a fair argument to defend them. I’ve learned my lesson, Blackhawks guy!) All of my non-hockey friends know that it would benefit them to know some background about the game at hand before attending with me and this works out just fine.

Then there are the other people at the rink…

Tonight I discovered what my biggest pet peeve about minor league hockey is. My biggest pet peeve is when people in the crowd start chanting “DEFENSE!” when their team is on the penalty kill. This isn’t basketball. I can’t even explain how upset this makes me. The argument of a person who is pro-yelling this is logical – the team is shorthanded; they should concentrate on defense. But there are two guys out there who are defense men and there’s another guy out there whose entire job ALL GAME is to defend the goal. I just feel like it’s completely unnecessary to remind the team to play DEFENSE. Would you ever yell “OFFENSE!” while someone was coming down on a breakaway? No. Because that would be ridiculous.

Am I crazy here? Am I just that much of a snob that I can’t understand this? Obviously, it’s a small thing and I would much rather be sitting in a crowd of people yelling at inappropriate things at inappropriate times than not yelling at all. But by the third period tonight, I was resisting the urge to stab the creepy guy wearing a trench coat who was seated to my right that was insisting on DEFENSE! in the neutral zone and even sometimes in the offensive zone.

Also, just to point out, the team had let in 7 goals. Your defense chants weren't helping at all. Rubbing salt in the wound, my drunk trench coat wearing friend.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

At the risk of sounding like a girl...

It's Thursday! It's Hockey Boy of the Week day!!!!!

How did this all start? A few weeks ago I was slacking off at work- a shock, I know. While perusing pictures of young, gorgeous hockey players, I decided that my non-hockey obsessed female colleagues could surely appreciate the wonder that is Viktor Stalberg. It wasn't fair to keep him all to myself. Thus began the Hockey Boy of the Week emails.

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Within 5 minutes of sending out the first ever HBOTW email, I get a request to feature Sidney Crosby. This caused quite an uproar considering I harbor an unwarranted hatred for him. I set this aside and wrote a half-assed email about how Sidney won the Cup and how he can't grow a playoff beard to save his life. This email concluded with a vote. Is Crosby hot? The answer was no. The answer was overwhelmingly no. And I was happy.

To make up for all of the bad karma from last week, this week's HBOTW is Henrik Zetterberg.

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Soooooooooo pretty. I don't even think I need to say much. Just look.

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He wins the Stanley Cup.

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He hangs out on docks.

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He chills out wearing only a towel and looks deep into your soul. There's nothing better than this. Nothing. Better.


So seriously, I have no idea what we can even vote on this week. I don't think there's a question of if he's hot. So the question I'm posing to you is this:

Who should be HBOTW next week, solely based off of their name:
Henrik Lundqvist
Taylor Pyatt
Mike Cammalleri

Vote in the comments, kiddies. Or argue with me. Either way. Also, from looking at my 'list of candidates', I definitely have a type. I most definitely definitely definitely have a type of guy that I like. Heh.

0-6-1

It makes me sad when the NHL10 Maple Leafs are better than the team in real life. Obviously, the Leafs are NOT as bad on paper (or virtually) as their current record indicates. So what the hell then? Everyone is speculating and trying to find someone to blame for their un-truculent start to the season. I'm just trying to figure out when they're going to finally get a win. I'm an optimist... and Luongo has sucked so far... so Saturday? Yes? Please?