Dear DC, You Win.

Today while commenting on one of my favorite Red Wings blogs, The Production Line, I was reminded that maybe one day, I will have a 300th post. And I realized that that could never happen if I didn't get off my ass and write about my trip to Washington DC.

So, first of all, let me provide a list of reasons why I haven't written anything in over 2 weeks:

1 - I started a new job and I've been tired from adapting to a new sleep schedule.
2 - My laptop is broken.
3 - I'm still hungover from the DC trip.

Pick any reason and it's partially to blame. Yes, I have a new job. Yes, I'm sleepy. Yes, my laptop is DEAD. Yes, I think I'm still dehydrated. I have the dreaded 2 week hangover.

How did I get so hungover, you ask? Well kids, this will be a tale of what not to do when traveling and drinking. There's a reason that SB's photo album on Facebook is called, "Nobody roadtrips like we roadtrip." Because nobody roadtrips like we roadtrip.

I left Ohio around noon on Friday to end up in DC around 8pm. I was heckled for driving slow the entire damn time but I wasn't in a rush because SB's bus wouldn't even be getting to town until like 10pm. So I made it, SB then made it in town and we ordered a ton of room service. We got in a fight with the room service lady over a cup of bleu cheese dressing. We take our bleu cheese very seriously. It was a staple in our apartment last year and it's almost like a food group for us. After our cheese fix, we called it a night with a small glass of Jameson and some crappy reality tv.

The next morning, we decided to walk the National Mall. Our hotel was right by the Capitol Building so we started there, walked past the Washington Monument and all the way down to the Lincoln Memorial. Then we walked over to the White House, past the Verizon Center and back to the hotel. On the way, we stopped at the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum. It is rumored that I cried a little bit. I can neither confirm or deny this but I will say that space is the most terrifying thing EVER and it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to think about. Maybe even so uncomfortable that I would cry. (Think about it: it's so freaking big and we don't even understand so much about it. It's like mind-boggling huge and there are people that routinely go up in space, say goodbye to their families and not know if they're ever going to return. On top of that, I started thinking about the Cold War and how the astronauts of the 60s were really American heroes and OHMYGOD SPACE IS OVERWHELMING!!!!)

Some shuttle-y thingy. It was TINY and SCARY.

After a small lunch at 11:30am (trust me, this is important) consisting of McDonald's small fries and a few chicken nuggets, we continued on our journey. After a stop at a Starbucks and a stop at H&M, we headed back to the hotel for drinking. It was 4pm. The plan was to leave for the game at 5:15 so that left 75 minutes to begin drinking our faces off.

Now, I'm not new to heavy drinking (heyyyyyyy, that sounds bad) so I should know that Jameson should not be a "pre-gaming" drink but when you're on vacation in another town, who cares about smart decisions, right? So we drank and drank and drank...

Canada Dry is the best chaser. Trust me.



This picture should be hint #1 that we're drunk.



Yes, that's a pillow fort. Why do you ask?

...for 75 minutes. In that time, we consumed a total of a half liter of Jameson. Keep in mind, we had only eaten a few chicken nuggets and small fries. We did some shots and walked over to the Verizon Center. On the way, SB suggested that we have a Leslie Hat Trick at the game. For those of you that don't know, which is 95% of you, a Leslie Hat Trick is something terrible that I invented. At some point in time when I was drunk, I thought, "Hey, there are 3 periods in a hockey game. If I drink 3 large beers during this time, it'll be a hat trick of beer. A Leslie Hat Trick." I tried and tried to convince SB that this was a bad plan. I was still saying no even as I was purchasing the beer.

The beer vendor at the VC asked if I wanted lids for the beer. I found this hilarious (hint #2 that I was already wasted) so of course I said yes. I then spent the next 10 minutes running around trying to find a straw because that would make it even better, right? Apparently drinking alcohol out of a straw makes your body absorb it faster? This is what I've heard. With the amount of alcohol I drank, it's hard to tell.

In the first, we each drank a large beer. In the second, we each drank a large beer. Halfway through the third, SB said, "Dude, I need the assist!" and hit my leg. At this time she handed me her beer and I apparently drank it. Drink count at the end of the game: SB had 2 glasses of Jameson, 1 shot of Jameson and 90 oz of beer. I had 2 glasses of Jameson, 2 shots of Jameson and 126 oz. of beer.

The game ended. Caps won. A good time was had by all. We got up and stopped at the bathroom on our way out of the arena. When I emerged from the bathroom, I found SB really confused standing on the concourse. She then tells me that she has lost her jacket and just asked a random stranger with brown hair where her coat was. We went back to the seats to look for it; we went back in the bathroom to look for it. We ended up at Guest Services who told us to go back upstairs because they had it there. Then we ended up fighting with a guy who wouldn't let us up the escalator and we FREAKED out. Eventually, we got the coat back and headed to the bar.

We were beyond wasted and, once outside, SB asked the cops where to find the bar. They were very nice and told us and then warned us not to jaywalk because they would write us tickets. In retrospect, they probably should have arrested us for public intoxication rather than warning us about jaywalking but whatevs.

We went to Rocket Bar because it was recommended to us. What I remember of it was good, although I really only remember doing horrible at skee-ball. When we went in, I immediately bought us more beer for some reason. Then, before we left, I thought it would be BRILLIANT to do a shot of my absolute favorite, Liquid Cocaine.

Luckily, we ended up at a Ruby Tuesday's 5 minutes later and ended up ordering half of the appetizer menu. This helped us not completely die. The rest of the night is pretty hazy. I do know that we took most of the appetizers back to the hotel in boxes. Once back in the hotel, SB laid down on the floor in the bathroom while I removed my shirt and began "cleaning" the hotel room. (I use the word "cleaning" loosely because the room was a complete mess in the morning.) This is also when I left many drunk voicemails for my friends, including screaming for 2 minutes and using a "Canadian accent" and referring to myself as Mike Babcock. (When I drink, I turn Canadian!)

The next morning was ROUGH. Honestly, I hadn't been that hungover since freshman year of college. We were able to get an extended checkout from the front desk and if we hadn't, I think I would've died.

We spent most of the morning putting together the pieces of the previous night via tweets, texts, phone calls, receipts and random items we found in our hotel room. I guess I should have prefaced this story by saying that this is just what I believe happened but who really knows?

And you're probably wondering where all of the really important hockey pictures are. They're right here!

If you click on the pictures, it'll take you to the album on photobucket. It's not organized and it's not pretty but there are more pictures there. So my goal for this week is to actually write more and maybe even have a HBOTW sometime this weekend. See, I slacked so much that now it's time for another hockey game already. SB is flying here on Saturday and we're taking in a Red Wings game on Saturday night. It will be the first time she's ever been to Joe Louis Arena.

I will repeat that because it's such a strange fact: This Saturday will be the first time little SB has ever been to Joe Louis Arena. I just can't fathom that. I'm honored to accompany her to her first game in Detroit and I'm even more excited that I got lower bowl seats for under face value! Seriously, I promise to update about it and it won't take 2 weeks!

PS- The title refers to a short hungover verbal letter that I wrote to Washington DC that Sunday morning. "Dear DC, You kicked my ass but you were fun and totally worth it. I promise I'll be back but for now, you win. Love, ME!"

A Top 9 List, How Original

Holy shit, an entry that I put a lot of thought into? Weird, I know.

Over on Puck Daddy, Greg Wyshynski has a feature that runs occasionally where he invites some blogger, celebrity, etc. to give their top 5 reasons why they love hockey. I'm not a celebrity and I'm certainly not well enough known to ever be invited to partake in this but I would like to make my own list. So here, I would like to explain the top 9 reasons why I love hockey. Why 9? I could try to be really creative and say it's 9 to commemorate Johnny Bucyk's belated half-birthday (which was last Thursday, I suppose) but I'll just admit that it's 2 a.m. and I'm out of answers.


9) Fighting: Yep, it's number 9. That means that this list is going to get even better than pugilistic truculence! I had this discussion over the weekend with a friend. I really have no desire to watch boxing or anything of the sort. (As I write this, I'm watching wrestling but I'm also drinking so that makes it okay.) Yet, when a fight breaks out in the middle of a hockey game, I find it horribly entertaining, as does everyone else. There are two things that bring an entire stadium to their feet: goals and fights. People cheer for fights just as loud, if not louder, than they cheer for goals.

I love that there's still a place in hockey for a fight. While I am all about the Europeanization (yep, it's a word now because I said it) of the league with faster skating and more finesse players, I don't ever think that fighting should not be a part of the game. (Hence, I love the Wings and the truculent Leafs. Duh.) There is nothing better than two guys throwing their gloves down and settling their differences with some haymakers. For example:

8) Alexander Ovechkin: I love him. I think he is the most gifted goal scorer in a very long time and, with the right marketing and placement, could be the new Wayne Gretzky in terms of a relationship with the non-hockey world. Because that's who non-hockey fans think of still when you ask them to name one hockey player. And he hasn't played in 10 years. Doesn't anyone else think that's an issue? Just me? Oh, okay.

No matter how much the NHL wants everyone to accept Sidney Crosby as the "face of the NHL", it's just not happening. He's not personable, he's not charismatic, he's not the kind of person that grabs attention. But Gretzky wasn't that kind of person either and surely most wouldn't describe him as charismatic, right? The 80s were a different time. Pre-youtube, pre-internet, pre-instant gratification for ADD. Something has to grab your attention because if people don't find something interesting, they can and will just find something else to entertain themselves.

This is why, even though some people get so upset with Ovie's over the top celebrations, it is exactly what is needed in order to expand the NHL. People want action and emotion and entertainment and he provides that. As I will later talk about, it's all about keeping hockey accessible. The things that a player like Crosby does, or even Datsyuk and Malkin and Zetterberg and a host of other top names, is something that is almost too far under the radar for the novice hockey fan, for the casual fan, for the person flipping by on the remote who accidentally passes by Versus to appreciate. The casual fan or the "Sportscenter" fan can appreciate Ovechkin, his moves, his goals and his celebrations with absolutely no knowledge of hockey. He sells it better than anyone else has in a long time and I truly believe that Ovie is the way to market the NHL. (Dear NHL marketing department, Please give me a job. Thanks. Sincerely, MGdB)

It took me 20 minutes to narrow down the pictures of Ovechkin celebrations and only select one. Seriously. Google Image Search "Ovechkin celebration". I'll see you in at least 20 minutes.

7) Family: Hockey is family event for me. Some of my favorite memories from the past few years with my fam has been driving up to Joe Louis Arena, having dinner in the Olympia Club, going to playoff games and debating about what went right and what went wrong the whole way home while listening to 97.1 until it gets too static-y when we cross the state line out of Michigan. We even sit down at dinner and talk about what happened in the hockey world that day, comparing rumors we heard, who signed with what team and what teams are playing that night. Hockey is a serious family affair in my house.

6) Minor league teams: As I've explained before, I think that minor league hockey is amazing. It doesn't suffer from the corporate clientele like the NHL does. It's always easy to get tickets and tickets aren't expensive at all. Minor league games are fun because the players aren't superstars; they're all just regular guys trying to make it. A lot of minor league teams have a rabid fan following that almost resembles the atmosphere of collegiate hockey where there are chants and traditions. I highly suggest going to a minor league game. You'll have fun. I promise.

5) Accessibility: I love that I can take anyone to a hockey game and they'll have a good time. Whether it's their first game or their thousandth, there is always something new and enjoyable. There is the novice hockey fan who really enjoys the fights, always waiting for a big check or a scrum to break out in the crease. The intermediate (for lack of a better word) fan will notice a good save or a nice goal. The experienced hockey fan will point out a good penalty kill, blocked shot or set up pass. No matter what, there is always something more to learn about the game and always something more to enjoy. I love taking people to their first game because I can't think of one person who I have introduced to the sport who hasn't become at least the slightest bit of a fan. I can't think of anyone who was like, "No, I don't think hockey is for me."

4) The Fans and Community: Perhaps I'm just unaware of other communities because I'm not a part of them but seriously, hockey fans are the best. I look forward to going to work and sitting on Twitter just to read what all the hockey people are talking about. I love the heated debates on LetsGoWings and I love the game day discussions on Pension Plan Puppets. I wake up every morning and read the morning links on Puck Daddy. I have talked to great people all over the world as a result of hockey. I love that the majority of hockey fans can have intelligent discussion and be so passionate about their team, their players, their organization (pronounced organ-eye-zation) while still being respectful of the other's viewpoint. There is a certain respect among most hockey fans because we've all experienced wins and losses, highs and lows, playoff success and terrible failures. And we all endure under the reign of Gary Bettman so there's that unifying factor.

3) Playoff Beards: While I am not a fan of the Islanders, we can thank them for one thing- the playoff beard tradition. Let's just state the obvious that I think that it is a favorable attribute if a man plays hockey. (That's quite an understatement, by the way.) So take these already attractive men and send them off on a two month journey that takes strength, courage, dedication and heart that ends with handshakes and tears of joy and of pain. That's just sexy right there. Now, let's put beards on them and make 'em look really manly and scruffy and testosterontastic. (I'm just inventing words all over the place!) It's a wonder women all over North America aren't being arrested left and right for jumping players' bones during the playoffs.

I miss the Shanny beard.

2) The Playoffs: April, May and June are my favorite months of the year. The hockey post-season is incredibly intense and exhausting for me and I'm not even playing. I literally spend every day thinking about the next games that are going on. I have a betting pool with some friends and family that involves picking winners and the number of games for the series and there's a complicated point system that I have perfected over the last 10 years. I have to print up a calendar for myself just to keep track of what teams are playing each night, at what time and on what channel. I watch every game. Every single game. Because I don't want to miss a moment because it's all history in the making. It's quite incredible and it really is the greatest time of year.

The Stanley Cup is the hardest trophy to win in all of pro sports and I say that with no hesitation. The score in a hockey game can change so quickly. One shot, one goal, one save can change the momentum and the outcome of an entire series. That means that every single moment in every game in every round matters. There are no meaningless wins when it's do or die in a best of 7. For the fans, that gives us two and half months of nail-biting, anxiety-inducing, stressful games and there's only one thing that can top that...

1) The Stanley Cup: There is just something about this shiny hunk of metal that just makes me absolutely in awe in it's presence. I have a poster on my bedroom door (because I'm still 12 years old apparently) of the Stanley Cup. The first time I saw it in person, I almost cried thinking of all the people that have touched it and held it, all the people who have lifted it in victory, all the people who dreamed of lifting it and fell short and all the people who will one day lift it. It's more than just a sports trophy; it's a piece of history.