At the risk of sounding like a girl...

Yes, it's HBOTW day. No, you're not crazy. No, it's not Thursday. Yes, it's Friday. I was planning on waiting another week before bringing this back because I didn't want it to step on the toes of Mascot Mania. At work this morning, I received this:

From: Abby
Sent: Friday, January 15, 2010 11:03 AM
To: Leslie
Subject:

Umm soo… I didn’t get the link for HBOTW yesterday :( Not going to lie my smile faded slightly as I logged onto my email today and did not see it…

I'm hoping this will satisfy her need for hockey boys for this week and that she will appreciate my multi-tasking abilities. I hadn't really been worrying about who the next HBOTW would be because I figured I had another week to think about it. Because last night's game is still fresh on my brain, I'm going to do something that I try not to do. I typically try not to be too Red Wings-centric, as hard as that is for me, but today? I don't care. Today's HBOTW: Patrick Eaves. Because my favorite thing in the world? Dark-haired, scruffy hockey-playing boys. But I had to check in with Abby because she's in charge today...

From: Leslie
Sent: Friday, January 15, 2010 1:11 PM
To: Abby
Subject: heyyyyyy

Since I’m writing this FOR YOU… I don’t remember what kind of hockey guys you always say you like: the pretty ones or the scruffy ones? (Please say scruffy… please say scruffy…) I’m trying to remember what you said in the great Zach and Jordan Parise debate.

From: Abby
Sent: Friday, January 15, 2010 1:12 PM
To: Leslie
Subject: RE: heyyyyyy

Definitely Scruffy! :)

Is he manly enough for ya? He looks very intense and focused and I like that. The beard is a nice touch as well. It's not too sparse and not too full; it is just the right amount.

Even with that ridiculous uniform, he still looks good and surprisingly happy for having to live in Ottawa. Here's an interesting note: Patrick Eaves was born in Calgary but raised in the US. He holds dual citizenship. Oh my god, it's like the best of both worlds! He's Canadian AND he's American!? That makes him like super-human, I think.

I'm really loving to Draper-Helm-Eaves line that's been playing lately and I'm hoping that Eaves really steps up and makes a name for himself. With everyone coming back from injury, it's going to be interesting to see what happens in the next few weeks and who is still going to be playing with the Wings in March and beyond.

So I know that a few weeks ago, I think in the great Zach and Jordan Parise debate in my office, Abby commented that she had to hold out judgment on which brother she liked better until she could see them without shirts on. I googled and searched all afternoon with very little to show for it. Needless to say, that debate is apparently still open (so if anyone does have shirtless Parise brother pics, you know where to find me...). Luckily for Abby, I did run across this picture so she will not be so conflicted about things today:

This is a great picture for a multitude of reasons, namely that he's half-dressed. My complaint about this picture though? His hair. Push that back, brother. You look like you're 40 (And he's not, he was born in 1984.) It looks silly like this, which brings me to my next point:

Patrick Eaves appears to have gone through many different hairstyles during his hockey career. I will show you some examples and then we'll discuss which one we like best, yes?

Now I'm generally not someone who likes long hair on guys, with the exception of Brock Wilson, may he rest in peace in effing Utah, but I think my favorite is the current long-haired Red Wing look. The college, spiky hair is a little goofy looking. The pre-Red Wing picture is good and all but the gravity-defying tuft of hair in the front is a little bit 'pretty boy' for me. Again, just my opinion. So, which Patrick Eaves is your favorite?

PS- Brock Wilson isn't dead. He was traded for a bag of cash because the Walleye had like 11 defensemen. It was a sad, sad day and I'm still working on getting over it. Clearly, I'm not there yet.

UPDATE:

This right here? Is why long hair wins. The moment his helmet came off yesterday was the moment I knew I was right. Yeah, I can see how the middle hair choice isn't fundamentally bad but in the fight, this is what you wanna see. Short hair would never look that sexy while fighting. Just sayin.

Seriously though, Eaves had a fight and a timely 3rd period game-tying goal and he looked good while doing it. I'd say he lived up to his HBOTW status and then some. Also, I love that the moment he started fighting, my phone went crazy with people telling me that "HBOTW is fighting!" Love it! Thanks!

Mascot Mania: WTF? Part 1

Part 1 of a 6 part series...

I had never really given a lot of thought to mascots until a few years ago. At that time, I met someone through a mutual friend and I immediately didn't like this kid. I could tell that he was just bad news. He was rude, disrespectful and I couldn't figure out why a 20-something guy was dating young girls. Like YOUNG girls. Like super jailbait, not old enough to drive girls. Then, I found out that this gentleman's profession was to dress up as two very well-known mascots here in town.

I was repulsed by this.

I personally find many things about this guy to be disgusting. To find out that he could be inside that costume, looking at little 12 year old girls and thinking about them sexually made me really think about the fact that you have no idea who is inside those costumes. This is such a creepy idea and I've thought about this so much over the past few years that it's now to the point that mascots really freak me out.

So when the Toledo Walleye announced that this past Sunday's game would be called Mascot Mania, I was apprehensive, as was Schmegan, who attends all the games with me. The plans were that 14 mascots from various sports teams, colleges and businesses around the Toledo area would have mascots at the game. (Yes, the skeevy guy I know was there but I'm not sure which mascot he was that day since he's been 6 of the 14 characters represented. I don't know which one he was assigned that day.) They would be walking around the concourse and messing with people during the first intermission. During the second intermission, they would play a game of dodgeball on the ice. Despite my fear, my curiosity got the best of me and we went to the game anyway.

Even though we knew that the mascots would be out in full force on the concourse during the first intermission, Schmegan and I both really wanted ice cream. We figured it would be safe to sneak upstairs since the ice cream concession stand is just at the top of our section. Well, no. When we came upstairs, we were right in between JJ Jaguar, the mascot for Owens Community College (I wasn't aware they had a mascot), and something called Mudevious, one of the Toledo Mud Hens billion mascots that they've invented. They were both terrifying. They were touching children. They were hitting people on the head and running away. They were causing havoc and I almost had a heart attack.

This reminded me of an instance a few years ago when I was at the NHL All Star Game in Atlanta and all the mascots were wandering around the stands during the Skills Competition. It was insane. That damn Calgary thing would NOT leave me alone. I did not like it and I thought I was going to have to pull a Mactavish to get it to go away. Luckily, it did not come to this.

It was soooooo tempting.

I still don't really understand what this thing is. A dog? A wolf? Does it matter? It's just annoying. And I realized that I'm uncomfortable with mascots running around because I'm not used to that happening at hockey games. I've spent my life going to Red Wings games and they don't have some fool running around in a costume. (I guess they did have Dukes the dog at Toledo Storm games but he never really bothered me because he was tough, awesome and aware of my personal space. It makes me really sad that I just spent 20 minutes searching for a picture of him and I can't find one anyone. Storm hockey is dead and I hate that.)

The point of all of this is that I wanted to take a look at all of the mascots of the NHL. When I was at the All Star Game, I couldn't tell who all of them were because some are really obscure and there's a large percentage of birds and bears. I think that some of the mascots are really random and, honestly, pointless. So over the next few weeks, I will be uncovering who some of these mascots are. Today, we will start with the Central Division...

The Chicago Blackhawks:

This is Tommyhawk. He's some kind of freaky bird thing. According to his profile on the Blackhawks website, he enjoys playing hockey, reading, dancing, spraying silly string, laying eggs, and getting the bird's eye view. His dislikes? Detroit. See, I don't him already. Actually, the real reason I don't like him is his shoes. He's a bird; why does he need shoes? Why do they have laces? Why couldn't he just have bird feet? If I'm supposed to accept that a giant bird is a big cheerleader for a hockey team, why wouldn't I accept that he isn't expected to wear shoes? I don't know. I'm thinking about it too hard.

The Columbus Blue Jackets:

I have a lot of issues with the Columbus Blue Jackets as a whole and Stinger, this giant green bug character, is a big part of that. See, I get the whole Civil War history thing that the Blue Jackets are trying to accomplish. How could I not? I was born in Columbus and have lived in Ohio for 23 of my 24 years on earth. On top of that, I have a degree in history (albeit not with a focus on the Civil War but I do have an above average knowledge of my own local history). But what's the deal with this bug? He's really only around because he was featured on the old Blue Jackets jerseys. But why? I can't figure out if he's supposed to represent something here in Ohio or if he's just a random insect. I can assure you that I have never seen anything like that running around here. What kind of bug is he? Because his name is Stinger, I assume he is some kind of hornet-type thing but if they wanted to pick something "local", they should have gone with a mosquito or a mayfly. Perhaps because mascots are terrifying, they should have just gone with the single most frightening Ohio bug ever: THE CICADA. I just don't understand it.

The Detroit Red Wings:
The Red Wings do not have an anthropomorphic, scary mascot running around the stands. I don't really think this counts as a "mascot" then but from googling "Detroit Red Wings mascot", apparently, everyone else considers Al the Octopus to be the mascot of the Red Wings. Okay, fine.

He chills in the rafters with the banners all year long. Then, at the beginning of every playoff game, he explodes out of the jumbotron before going up to loom above the visiting goalie. I'm okay with this because at no point in time does he try to touch me and mess with me in any way.

I just love this picture. I really don't think it's necessary to explain where the Octopus thing comes from. Long story short: It was 1952. It only took 8 games to win the Stanley Cup, 4 wins in each round. Pete and Jerry Cusimano owned a fish market. They threw an octopus on the ice. Wings won the Cup. We still do it today.

I guess it's a mascot in the sense that it's a symbol of the team and the organization. I just generally consider mascots to be scary things that walk around and take pictures with children. That's all.

The Nashville Predators:

Okay, here's a mascot that REALLY freaks me out. This is Gnash of the Nashville Predators. Isn't that some nifty word play? I think the reason I don't enjoy this character is his tight shirt combined with his facial expression. Really, this thing looks like it could kick my ass. It has bulging biceps and rock hard abs. Perhaps I'm just imagining the abs but seriously, this is some scary stuff. Also, the fact that he's wearing the jersey that has his picture on it makes me a little uncomfortable. It would be like me wearing a t shirt with my profile on it and that's just not cool.

The St. Louis Blues:

Now this is a mascot I can get on board with. This is Louie, the St. Louis Blues polar bear. He's not scary; he actually looks very nice. I think my favorite thing about him is his tiny helmet. Compare his facial expression with that of Gnash and you will notice that Louie appears to be a little more laid back and a little less intense. At the same time, if I were to run into Louie in real life, I would probably still be freaked out because he's still a creepy dude inside of a suit.

So, is anyone else as freaked out by mascots as I am? Does anyone know what the deal is with the Stinger, the Blue Jackets bug? Any requests for which division (or for a particular team) that I should feature next? Whatevs. Let me know.

I'm jumping on the JHo bandwagon and I don't care who knows

I have spent countless hours over the past few years yelling about how much I do not like Jimmy Howard. I have told anyone that would listen to me about how he is never going to make it in the NHL, how Kenny Holland is only going to use him as tradebait and how his rebounds are terrifying and it would be insane if he were to ever play more than 20 games a season in Detroit. I was still making these comments up through the beginning of November. I am now ready to say that I may have been wrong. I'm not going to fully concede and say he's the second coming of Sawchuk or anything but he is exceeding my expectations for sure.

Clicky click to make them bigger.

I can't argue with that. Are you kidding me!? He is not playing like the Jimmy Howard we've seen before. He is not playing like a goalie with, previous to this season, only 9 games of NHL experience. He's not the same kid I've been ridiculing for years and I couldn't be happier to be wrong. I mean, it's entirely possible, and very likely, that these numbers won't hold up forever but he is more than serving his purpose for this season.

Prior to the season starting, I think that if he could have come in and played 30 games and not been abysmal, that would have been sufficient. Ozzie could have handled the remaining games on the schedule, Wings would make the playoffs, same old, same old. But this is not a typical season. With the astronomically ridiculous amount of injuries, the Red Wings do not have the luxury of letting Ozzie have his weird winter mid-season slump. It's the first time in A LONG TIME that Detroit is having to fight for a playoff spot and not being handed the Central Division by default through a lack of competition.

The Western Conference standings as of 2:20 a.m. on January 4th, 2010. This will be interesting to look at again in the beginning of April.

As a long time Ozzie supporter, I can wholeheartedly say that Detroit needs to keep playing Howard. For one thing, I think it's important to play the hot goalie. Duh. But I also think that JHo is serving another purpose. It's recently been discussed in the media that there might be a goalie "controversy" brewing. I wouldn't quite say it's a controversy but I think Mike Babcock is not an idiot. (In fact, I believe that I most often refer to him as an evil genius who only uses his powers for good.) Regular season Osgood may or may not show up for a game. Pissed off, has something to prove, win at all costs, playoff Osgood? He always shows up.

There's no reason not to use Jimmy to push Ozzie. If Howard can put Ozzie in a position where he's battling and in constant playoff-mode, great. If he can win games and help make up ground in the West at the same time, awesome. The Red Wings need all the points they can get so when Jimmy gets a break and Ozzie plays a game, it's not just a normal game, even if they're playing someone completely meaningless, like the Carolina Hurricanes. All that's been expected out of Howard is for him to not lose games; Osgood is expected to win games. There's a very important difference. That's not to say that I think Ozzie is having a terrible season. I just think that he's going to need to be more of a difference maker, in a good way, in the games he plays.

So what happens come playoff time? I'm going to want more time to think about that and to possibly see Ozzie play another game before making any statements about that. Let's just say I'm not completely opposed to the idea of Jimmy Howard maybe possibly playing in a playoff situation.

I've come a long way from my JHo-hating ways of the past.

Holiday Hiatus

I thought I should officially announce my holiday hiatus and find a way to incorporate a picture of a puppy. So there, I'm officially taking a break. Also, here's a puppy.

At the risk of sounding like a girl...

This is going to be quite rushed since I'm at work and I'm technically supposed to be doing stuff, like work. Here's the thing though: the office Christmas party is tonight. There's lots of food and cookies and treats all around. No one is focused. All of the people in charge are out to a long lunch. So why am I being asked to focus and be productive? I'm not quite sure but I know I'm failing at it. Since tonight is the Christmas Movie Marathon with my lovelies, I will not be near a computer until sometime tomorrow so this HBOTW needed to be written NOW.

Sometime last week, I was perusing ECHL rosters and I honestly can't even remember why. I think I was trying to look something up about the Elmira Jackals. Regardless, I came across a goalie named Jordan Parise. Yes, Zach Parise's brother. I assumed younger brother since Zach is in the NHL and Jordan is, well, not. I thought to myself, "Both of these brothers are kinda adorable," so they have been selected as this week's HBOTW! I present to you Zach and Jordan Parise!

So Zach is on the left and he's pretty adorable. He plays for the New Jersey Devils. He plays left wing. Born in 1984. Oh, very importantly, before SB has to go look it up, they are Americans. From Minnesota, in fact. So Jordan is on the right. He is currently playing for the Wheeling Nailers in the ECHL (one of my LEAST favorite ECHL teams. Who am I kidding? I don't like any of them other than the Walleye). He's a goalie. Born in 1982. Again, American-born.

European jerseys are so silly looking.

I suppose because I found this picture on some European website and I could not read the language (it wasn't French or basic Italian so I was lost), I can't be 100% sure if this is even a picture of Jordan Parise. But isn't it a nice picture? I like the angle and the lights.

I love this picture.

I think there's something fitting about the fact that he plays for NJ. You see, sometimes when I see his hair, I'm reminded of something like this. Seriously, check this out because it cracked me up. Zach is a little bit pale for the whole Jersey Shore look but that's why God invented tanning beds, right?

Ummm, so next Thursday is Christmas Eve and I won't be around a computer at all. I'll be driving to Dayton for dinner with some of the fam so I suppose HBOTW is officially on holiday break... unless I get inspired and come up with some great idea but what are the chances of that, right? Any ideas? Suggestions?

The Kids Aren't Alright

Last night was probably the best Walleye game yet this season. I'm having trouble posting the video on here so just go here and watch it instead. They set a new record by scoring 5 goals in one period. Sebastien Piche scored his first professional goal. The Walleye were down 1-0 going into the 3rd and just absolutely tore it up for the last 20 minutes. There were 90 minutes of penalties in the 3rd period, for a game total of 100 minutes. Fights, misconducts, goals - there's really nothing else I could have asked for. So what made last night's game different from all the other games for me?

I felt really uncomfortable just searching for an image of some random baby. Probably because babies make me uncomfortable to begin with, hence, I'm complaining about them now.

We were sitting next to a goddamn baby. I have always said that I don't really like kids. I want to have some someday but right now, I don't really like other people's kids and the only ones that I will like are my own unborn children. You will note in the above picture, I am not at a hockey game. I am simply sitting on a brick wall wearing a cowboy hat outside of the Fort Worth Stockyards. It was 1985 so there was DEFINITELY not any hockey within several hundred miles of me. Here is a list of things that I am definitely not doing in the above picture:

1- I am not kicking anyone's beer: The baby from last night was too young to be in her own seat, therefore, she was sitting on her mom's lap. This baby continually put her foot inside SB's beer cup. The mom did apologize so she does get credit there but if you're going to apologize and show that you're aware of the situation, perhaps you should stop it from happening several more times, n'est-ce pas?

2- I am not asking others around me to help me hold on to my possessions: The baby from last night dropped its pacifier on the dirty, nasty, beer-stained floor within 2 minutes of sitting down. It not only fell on the ground but actually fell and bounced under the row in front of us. The Walleye then scored a goal (that was later disallowed) but we missed all of that during the Nook-Gate scandal that was brewing in section 119. No less than 8 people were concerned in the matter of returning the pacifier to this child.

3- I am not dropping my pacifier on the dirty ground and then putting it back in my mouth to gross out everyone within a 10 foot radius: Now, I was absorbed into the game so I saw that the pacifier fell but then I was right back to the on-ice action. A few minutes later, during a commercial time out, I notice that the baby has the damn thing back in its mouth. Really? Am I crazy in thinking that's totally disgusting? These things do exist, ya know.

4- I am not crushing up cheese crackers and leaving them EVERY-EFFING-WHERE: SB and I went to get beer during the first intermission. When we came back to our seats, Schmegan warned us to look out for cheese crackers. This was an understatement. Seriously, this kid went cheese cracker crazy. The mom had allowed it to stand and eat cheese crackers in front of my and SB's seats while we were gone. The child clearly did not understand that it was supposed to consume the crackers and not throw them on the ground and step on them until creating an orange layer of dust on the floor. Or perhaps the baby was a genius and was trying to protect her pacifier from hitting the dirty ground the next time she dropped it out of the mouth and threw it on the ground. Either way, it was crunchy the rest of the game and the bottom of my purse is still a little bit orange. Just sayin.

5- I am not preventing anyone from yelling: I was afraid to yell because I didn't want to frighten the baby. See, I'm not all terrible and callous. I was trying to be very accomodating and I didn't even make any smartass remarks. But the third period was insane but I didn't want to cheer too loudly or yell at Jean-Francois David for having a stupid name for fear that the baby would be startled and start crying, which brings me to my next point...

Last night's baby did have one thing going for it: it did not cry. Or rather, I drank enough beer to not notice if the baby cried. Just the whole thing made us feel very awkward and uncomfortable and I hate that. So maybe this whole rant isn't about the baby. Maybe it's about parents who make others uncomfortable with their children. If you want to bring your kid to a game, then just be aware of others around you. Perhaps don't put the lady with the baby on the end of your group of people so that others who don't know you and don't care about your baby have to put up with their needs. Just a suggestion.

Tonight's game is against the Elmira Jackals again so I'm expecting it to be a good one. Also, it's a Sunday night game so there will definitely be less people and, therefore, less of a chance of me sitting by a baby. Right now I'm off to the Anthony Wayne vs. Central Catholic game at the Ice House and then downtown for the Walleye game. Ugh, I'm probably going to hell for bitching about babies. I just needed to vent. Yes, I made an Offspring reference earlier and I'm greatly amused by this.

I'm justifying this whole thing with the fact that writing this and thinking about this was Schmegan's idea and she's a pre-school teacher. If she is losing patience with a child, you know there's something wrong with the situation. So am I a complete jerkface?

At the risk of sounding like a girl...

Here's the scene: It was 6 p.m. I was just home from work and still couldn't think of anyone for HBOTW today. I asked my mom, who has never seen this site mind you, to name a hot hockey player. Her first answer? "Well, Hank. Duh." I told her I'd already done that. I also told her that I try not to be too Red Wings-centric, as hard as that is sometimes. Her second answer? "Vinny Lecavalier. Tampa Bay Lightning." WHAT? Where did that come from, mama? I just laughed and told her that maybe she should name a top 3 of hockey players and I would figure it out. Before she could do this, I yelled, "LUKE SCHENN! NEVERMIND!" and walked upstairs. Inspiration struck. He's having a good week. There's a Leafs game tonight and I'm wearing a Leafs tshirt right now (granted, it's a Kessel and not a Schenn but still). It just seems appropriate. I give you, Luke Schenn.

Perhaps you're not convinced. Maybe this will help.

Yeah, that's what I thought. And actually, I think I've pinpointed exactly what I like about him too. See, recently I've become very aware of what types of guys I'm attracted too, most likely because I write about hot boys once or twice a week. Luke Schenn does not fit this profile at all. He is neither scruffy nor does he have a fauxhawk. (Seriously, what is wrong with me?) The thing that he has going for him is his similarity to my teenage crush, Eric von Detten. Come on, you know you watched Brink and you enjoyed it too because it was a quality Disney original movie.

Seriously, so adorable. And Brink is a good movie. Shut up.

So he definitely started off the season slowly but recently, I've been much happier with him. I also enjoy when he does things like this.

He looks disheveled and I like that.



He looks nervous and I don't like that. But he does look good in blue.



He looks most comfortable when being interviewed. I need to find a way and reason to interview him.



So now, with all of the information, take another look at this. Feeling a little bit different about him yet?

It's like he's staring into your soul. Heh.

For more Luke Schenn loveliness, check out Wrap Around Curl. Actually, you should probably just check it out anyways because it's high quality over there.