Thursday, November 26, 2009

At the risk of sounding like a girl...

Thanksgiving edition! To be honest, I'm not a big Thanksgiving fan. I'm not huge fan of Thanksgiving food (Turkey is sooooooo dry) and I have a degree in history (so pilgrims? Not the coolest people in the bunch, plus I have an huge interest in European Colonialism so there's some touchy subjects here). Regardless, it's Thanksgiving eve which is like the biggest drinking holiday of the year for people my age. After a bottle of Jameson and without further ado, I bring you some pictures...

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Me and my bff Bobo the Fauxbo. Yep, I'm licking the bottle, not wearing make up and wearing an Ovie shirt. That's how you know I'm beyond wasted. Oh, and the hat. The hat is a dead giveaway.

Yep, I'm that drunk but I live to serve and therefore, you get this picture with heavily pictured blog posting. (Edit: In retrospect, I don't know what the phrase 'heavily pictured blog posting' was supposed to mean.)

Sebastien Piche has spent the majority of his life in the QMJHL but was recently called to the AHL and signed by the Detroit Red Wings. He was called down to the Toledo Walleye for two games were I got to witness his hottness in person.

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Look, a picture of Piche in the crazy hat.

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See? Adorable. Even though he's French-Canadian.

I already bought tickets for this Sunday's Walleye game where Piche will not be present. He's been called back up to the Griffins already and I know it's selfish but it makes me sad. So this Sunday, I will have to watch out for the other resident Toledo Walleye hottie: Brock Wilson.

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So I suppose the vote is on whether you prefer Brock Wilson with long hair or short hair? I think I'm very happy with the long hair.

And this is absolutely adorable, or as I said on Sunday night, Brock Wilson showing a little child how to skate at the post-game Sunday night skate is "swoonworthy"...

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Ohhhhh, what I would've given to be a 4 year old boy who couldn't skate well.

So I'm somewhat distraught because this week I've been very complementary of guys who have fauxhawks. I've defended both Sebestien Piche AND Mike Green. Seriously, I defended Mike Green and his hairstyle choice. Apparently, after some beer, I am able to admit that I have an unnatural attraction to dark haired fauxhawks. I don't know what that's all about. What the fuck is wrong with me?


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Seriously, pick my jaw off the ground drooling right now. Why I do love you so much? Mike Green, why do I find you so damn attractive? GAHHHHHHHHH.

After your tweeting the other day, I don't know how to defend you, Mike Green. JUST PLAY BETTER. (If you caught the Stevie Wonder reference, 2 points for you.) But seriously, why do I love hockey players with fauxhawks this week? I have no idea.

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Piche, I wish I could be selfish enough to want to with you to play with the Walleye but you're too talented and you proved that last weekend and I wish you all the best and I bet that one day you'll be in the NHL. For reals.

So yeah, I'm hoping you're not expecting much because it's Thanksgiving so I'm drunk and distracted with tasty food. So here's this:

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So yeah, my brain can't handle anything else. The Red Wings lost. The Maple Leafs won. I'm all sorts of confused so let's just leave it at that.

Things to comment on:

Brock Wilson: long hair, short hair, or am I just crazy?
Sebastien Piche: hottie or am I crazy?
Mike Green: Leslie, what the fuck is wrong with you or totally hot and I understand?

Thanks and happy holidays!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Histoire de Hockey: The Hat Trick

Part of introducing new people to hockey is answering questions about things that I've always just accepted. Guy scores three goals, you throw your hat on the ice. End of story. I've never really thought about why that is or how that started or where it came from until recently when I was asked about it. I realized that since I really love doing research, I should probably share my findings on things like this so this is now officially the first installment of Histoire de Hockey.

So first of all, what is a hat trick? Easy, when a player scores 3 goals in one game. When this happens, fans throw their hats on to the ice and everyone cheers. Awesome.

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The actual phrase "hat trick" came from cricket in the 1800s. Apparently it's really, really rare to do this and a really big deal if someone does. I know NOTHING about cricket so I have no idea what all these cricket terms mean so I'm not even going to fake it like I know what I'm talking about here.

There are a lot different versions of why it was called a hat trick and there isn't really definitive evidence of any of them so these are the two most popular ones that I found:

- When the cricket player acheived a hat trick, he would pass around his hat and others would give him money. Sounds like a great plan to me.
- The club that owned the team would give the player a hat as a reward for his outstanding performance. Free stuff is always cool.

There are three stories that come up again and again and take some credit for popularizing the hat trick in hockey. The first of these originates in Toronto. In 1946, Alex Kaleta, a player for the Blackhawks, went shopping and wanted to buy a hat but did not have enough money. The hat store owner made a deal with Kaleta that if he scored three goals that night, he could have the hat for free. On January 26, 1946, Alex Kaleta scored four goals against the Toronto Maple Leafs and the next morning, he collected his free hat.

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Garnet Exelby loves his hats. Almost too much. Almost.

A competing story states that the 1950s, the Guelph Biltmore Mad Hatters, a farm team of the New York Rangers, started giving out hats to players who scored three goals in a game. The team was owned by Biltmore Hats, a famous hat company, so it would make sense to give those out.

A third popular story says that the tradition originated in Montreal in the 1950s, from the Henri Henri hat store. The store would give out free hats to players after they scored three or more goal at the Montreal Forum.

The modern practice of fans throwing hats on the ice started in the 1970s, just as the trend of hat stores giving out free hats to players was dying out. It's one tradition that extends to all levels of hockey in North America, from the NHL down to parents buying hats for their mini-mite kids.


There are multiple Ovechkin hat tricks I could've chosen but I specifically picked this one. I wonder why.


The next logical questions is "What happens to all the hats?" and for that, I leave you with this. Go here and read this real quick and then you'll know.

Bonus: I can watch youtube videos of Ovechkin for hours and hours but this is always one of my favorites. Seriously, I love him like whoa.


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

At the risk of sounding like a girl...

This is not a normal HBOTW and it's not because I'm writing this on Wednesday night and I'm actually going to be prepared to have this up on Thursday. It's not normal because I'm upset. About hockey. About refs. About the NHL.

On Saturday, Schmeg came over and watched hockey with me. She discovered the wonder that is Jonathan Ericsson and requested that I feature him this week. I agreed to this because I too love me some Big Rig. Then, I watched the Dallas game tonight and I was just underwhelmed. Just blah about him. I realized that I've been feeling that way a lot this season. There's been so many times that I've just thought, 'Wow, he's having a rough night' or 'Wow, he's so unlucky sometimes.' So I decided to write a letter to Mr. Ericsson...

Dear Pookie,

I want to start off by saying that I'm a big fan of yours and I have been since your days in Grand Rapids. I was so happy when you got the chance to play in Detroit and I think that you're going to have many successful years here.

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That being said, I want you to play better right now. I understand that you're going to make rookie mistakes because you're a young guy. You're a big guy who is still learning how to use your size in the NHL and that's cool. And I completely understand that you are having to play with Brett Lebda and that has to be difficult. (I will not get sidetracked into a rant, I will not get sidetracked...)

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STOP GIVING ME THAT LOOK! You're cute but you're not completely off the hook here. I need you to step up and be physical! I want you to be effectively blocking shots on the penalty kill! I want you to take more shots from the point because you're a strong guy with a powerful shot! Use it! You can be an energy guy! You have so much potential and you have one of the greatest defensemen OF ALL TIME to learn from on the ice and in the dressing room SO YOU BETTER BE LISTENING AND PAYING ATTENTION AT ALL TIMES! I WANT YOU TO BE A SPONGE FOR KNOWLEDGE UNTIL THE DAY LIDSTROM HANGS UP HIS SKATES AND THAT ISN'T TOO FAR AWAY SO OPEN YOUR EYES AND EARS BECAUSE ONE DAY SOON YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN THAT TOP PAIRING AND ALL THOSE OTHER GUYS ARE GOING TO BE GONE AND YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE A LEADER AND I JUST WANT YOU TO BE READY FOR THAT DAY, JONATHAN! ARE YOU GOING TO BE READY? JESUS, JONATHAN...

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Look baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I just... I'm really sorry. Ozzie, I got it from here. OZZIE! It's cool, it's cool. I can be cool, I promise. I just yell because... I just get so frustrated sometimes, baby, and I love you so much. Come on... Smile for me. Just a little one; you know I love you!

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Alright, there we go. There's that smile! We're good? We're okay? Okay, we're good. Okay baby, I'll see you on Friday night.

XOXO,
MGdB

Monday, November 16, 2009

A Top 9 List, How Original

Holy shit, an entry that I put a lot of thought into? Weird, I know.

Over on Puck Daddy, Greg Wyshynski has a feature that runs occasionally where he invites some blogger, celebrity, etc. to give their top 5 reasons why they love hockey. I'm not a celebrity and I'm certainly not well enough known to ever be invited to partake in this but I would like to make my own list. So here, I would like to explain the top 9 reasons why I love hockey. Why 9? I could try to be really creative and say it's 9 to commemorate Johnny Bucyk's belated half-birthday (which was last Thursday, I suppose) but I'll just admit that it's 2 a.m. and I'm out of answers.


9) Fighting: Yep, it's number 9. That means that this list is going to get even better than pugilistic truculence! I had this discussion over the weekend with a friend. I really have no desire to watch boxing or anything of the sort. (As I write this, I'm watching wrestling but I'm also drinking so that makes it okay.) Yet, when a fight breaks out in the middle of a hockey game, I find it horribly entertaining, as does everyone else. There are two things that bring an entire stadium to their feet: goals and fights. People cheer for fights just as loud, if not louder, than they cheer for goals.

I love that there's still a place in hockey for a fight. While I am all about the Europeanization (yep, it's a word now because I said it) of the league with faster skating and more finesse players, I don't ever think that fighting should not be a part of the game. (Hence, I love the Wings and the truculent Leafs. Duh.) There is nothing better than two guys throwing their gloves down and settling their differences with some haymakers. For example:



8) Alexander Ovechkin: I love him. I think he is the most gifted goal scorer in a very long time and, with the right marketing and placement, could be the new Wayne Gretzky in terms of a relationship with the non-hockey world. Because that's who non-hockey fans think of still when you ask them to name one hockey player. And he hasn't played in 10 years. Doesn't anyone else think that's an issue? Just me? Oh, okay.

No matter how much the NHL wants everyone to accept Sidney Crosby as the "face of the NHL", it's just not happening. He's not personable, he's not charismatic, he's not the kind of person that grabs attention. But Gretzky wasn't that kind of person either and surely most wouldn't describe him as charismatic, right? The 80s were a different time. Pre-youtube, pre-internet, pre-instant gratification for ADD. Something has to grab your attention because if people don't find something interesting, they can and will just find something else to entertain themselves.

This is why, even though some people get so upset with Ovie's over the top celebrations, it is exactly what is needed in order to expand the NHL. People want action and emotion and entertainment and he provides that. As I will later talk about, it's all about keeping hockey accessible. The things that a player like Crosby does, or even Datsyuk and Malkin and Zetterberg and a host of other top names, is something that is almost too far under the radar for the novice hockey fan, for the casual fan, for the person flipping by on the remote who accidentally passes by Versus to appreciate. The casual fan or the "Sportscenter" fan can appreciate Ovechkin, his moves, his goals and his celebrations with absolutely no knowledge of hockey. He sells it better than anyone else has in a long time and I truly believe that Ovie is the way to market the NHL. (Dear NHL marketing department, Please give me a job. Thanks. Sincerely, MGdB)

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It took me 20 minutes to narrow down the pictures of Ovechkin celebrations and only select one. Seriously. Google Image Search "Ovechkin celebration". I'll see you in at least 20 minutes.

7) Family: Hockey is family event for me. Some of my favorite memories from the past few years with my fam has been driving up to Joe Louis Arena, having dinner in the Olympia Club, going to playoff games and debating about what went right and what went wrong the whole way home while listening to 97.1 until it gets too static-y when we cross the state line out of Michigan. We even sit down at dinner and talk about what happened in the hockey world that day, comparing rumors we heard, who signed with what team and what teams are playing that night. Hockey is a serious family affair in my house.

6) Minor league teams: As I've explained before, I think that minor league hockey is amazing. It doesn't suffer from the corporate clientele like the NHL does. It's always easy to get tickets and tickets aren't expensive at all. Minor league games are fun because the players aren't superstars; they're all just regular guys trying to make it. A lot of minor league teams have a rabid fan following that almost resembles the atmosphere of collegiate hockey where there are chants and traditions. I highly suggest going to a minor league game. You'll have fun. I promise.

5) Accessibility: I love that I can take anyone to a hockey game and they'll have a good time. Whether it's their first game or their thousandth, there is always something new and enjoyable. There is the novice hockey fan who really enjoys the fights, always waiting for a big check or a scrum to break out in the crease. The intermediate (for lack of a better word) fan will notice a good save or a nice goal. The experienced hockey fan will point out a good penalty kill, blocked shot or set up pass. No matter what, there is always something more to learn about the game and always something more to enjoy. I love taking people to their first game because I can't think of one person who I have introduced to the sport who hasn't become at least the slightest bit of a fan. I can't think of anyone who was like, "No, I don't think hockey is for me."

4) The Fans and Community: Perhaps I'm just unaware of other communities because I'm not a part of them but seriously, hockey fans are the best. I look forward to going to work and sitting on Twitter just to read what all the hockey people are talking about. I love the heated debates on LetsGoWings and I love the game day discussions on Pension Plan Puppets. I wake up every morning and read the morning links on Puck Daddy. I have talked to great people all over the world as a result of hockey. I love that the majority of hockey fans can have intelligent discussion and be so passionate about their team, their players, their organization (pronounced organ-eye-zation) while still being respectful of the other's viewpoint. There is a certain respect among most hockey fans because we've all experienced wins and losses, highs and lows, playoff success and terrible failures. And we all endure under the reign of Gary Bettman so there's that unifying factor.

3) Playoff Beards: While I am not a fan of the Islanders, we can thank them for one thing- the playoff beard tradition. Let's just state the obvious that I think that it is a favorable attribute if a man plays hockey. (That's quite an understatement, by the way.) So take these already attractive men and send them off on a two month journey that takes strength, courage, dedication and heart that ends with handshakes and tears of joy and of pain. That's just sexy right there. Now, let's put beards on them and make 'em look really manly and scruffy and testosterontastic. (I'm just inventing words all over the place!) It's a wonder women all over North America aren't being arrested left and right for jumping players' bones during the playoffs.

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I miss the Shanny beard.

2) The Playoffs: April, May and June are my favorite months of the year. The hockey post-season is incredibly intense and exhausting for me and I'm not even playing. I literally spend every day thinking about the next games that are going on. I have a betting pool with some friends and family that involves picking winners and the number of games for the series and there's a complicated point system that I have perfected over the last 10 years. I have to print up a calendar for myself just to keep track of what teams are playing each night, at what time and on what channel. I watch every game. Every single game. Because I don't want to miss a moment because it's all history in the making. It's quite incredible and it really is the greatest time of year.

The Stanley Cup is the hardest trophy to win in all of pro sports and I say that with no hesitation. The score in a hockey game can change so quickly. One shot, one goal, one save can change the momentum and the outcome of an entire series. That means that every single moment in every game in every round matters. There are no meaningless wins when it's do or die in a best of 7. For the fans, that gives us two and half months of nail-biting, anxiety-inducing, stressful games and there's only one thing that can top that...

1) The Stanley Cup: There is just something about this shiny hunk of metal that just makes me absolutely in awe in it's presence. I have a poster on my bedroom door (because I'm still 12 years old apparently) of the Stanley Cup. The first time I saw it in person, I almost cried thinking of all the people that have touched it and held it, all the people who have lifted it in victory, all the people who dreamed of lifting it and fell short and all the people who will one day lift it. It's more than just a sports trophy; it's a piece of history.


Saturday, November 14, 2009

What's the deal with Canadians?

I have actually been obsessed with Canada since I was very young. I'm not quite sure why but growing up about an hour from the border, it was a mysterious place. It's far enough away that I didn't go there on a regular basis but close enough that I never forgot it was there. It is a place where people love hockey and I think that is 80% of the appeal for me. I don't have a lot of friends that are really into hockey and most find my preoccupation with the sport to be strange. (Sometimes when my friends ask me how I'm doing and what's new, I end up telling them about the Red Wings 9-1 victory or how Phil Kessel scored 2 goals last night. I don't think this is an absurd answer. But this is also a different kind of rant.)

The point being that I am slowly converting my friends and I took an important step last weekend, by taking little SB to Toronto, to the Hockey Hall of Fame, and to her first NHL game. She has always enjoyed the fighting aspect of hockey but in recent years, she's come to appreciate a beautiful pass, a great defensive play or an amazing goal. SB is becoming a great hockey fan and this is the story of an important lesson she recently learned.

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This post needed a picture. Why this one? Because they're all Canadian.


A few weeks ago, SB met a cute guy in her dodgeball league. They spent a lot of time out with the team, chatting and having some drinks. This led to them going on a date later in the week. Before the date, SB called me and I asked about this dude. She tells me that he's Canadian, more specifically, he's from Toronto. Of course, my first question: Does he like the Leafs?

"No, he said he doesn't really like hockey."

Wait, what??? I told SB that I had a bad feeling about this. This confused me so much. How could he be a cute Canadian guy who just flat-out didn't like hockey? What did he like then? I told SB that this was a waste of a perfectly good Canadian.

So the date happened and, to put it lightly, it did not go well. Not because he wasn't cute, not because he was dumb or rude or uninteresting or anything else. The Canadian Boy Who Hates Hockey was awkward. Awkward in ways a guy shouldn't be awkward lest he makes his date feel awkward and makes her want to immediately leave.

SB called once she finally escaped back to her apartment and this led to a great conversation in which I ended up, almost soberly, making a list of rules for dating. (Almost soberly = I was watching Hockey Night in Canada and a Red Wings game all in one night.)

Rules for dating:
Basically, there is no point in dating a Canadian guy that has no interest in hockey.* (There are exceptions.)

In Canada, hockey is a big deal. In American terms, hockey is like baseball, if football and basketball didn't exist. Little kids in America play Little League or soccer or whatever. Little kids in Canada play hockey. So the fact that this kid didn't play, can't skate and DOESN'T EVEN LIKE HOCKEY does not bode well for him and, I believe, explains why he was so awkward. My theory is that he was a loser growing up, which probably stems from his dislike of hockey, so he probably didn't have a lot of experience with girls and this explains his awkwardness. Therefore, you shouldn't date Canadian boys who don't like hockey because they will be bad kissers. This is the only conclusion I can draw.

*Now there are a few exceptions:
-Canadian boys who plays musical instruments well enough to be in bands (specifically drummers and bass guitarists)
-Canadian boys who play soccer
-Canadian boys who... (I could not think of the third exception from that night so I texted SB and asked her. Her response, "there is no third in my opinion")

And there you have it.

In addition to this, there are many reasons why we (Miss SB and I) love Canadian boys. Here are some of them:
First of all, the accents. I swoon at a man who emphasizes his o's like that.
Second of all, love of hockey. Duh.
Thirdly, they're so damn polite which is tres adorable.
Fourth, a good mix of city and outdoorsy boys. There is a good likelihood of finding a guy that wants to live the awesome city life but camp and hike in the middle of nowhere on the weekends.
Fifth, knowledge of the metric system. This is important when I'm asked if I want a 355mL beverage and I just stare at the cashier. I need a nice Canadian boy to say, "Honey, that's a can of Dr. Pepper."
Sixth, would be able to understand my terrible franglais that I speak in ALL THE TIME.

Seventh, would understand when I just want to stay home, drink beer and watch hockey all night. I'm just a girly-girl with tomboy tendencies.

Eighth, hot. SB just texted to remind me that Canadian boys are hot.


So here's to Canadian, hockey-loving boys, we love you. If you think of more reasons why we should love Canadians, leave 'em in the comments. I'm sure SB and I will come up with more.